I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
