I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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