He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize