She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
