A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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