he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
