at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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