what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
