Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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