if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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