There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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