Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
