id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize