you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
