His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't deserve a penis
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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