i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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