it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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