Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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