You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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