she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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