My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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