I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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