I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
