Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
