That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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