it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
