How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
