I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
