yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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