so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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