And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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