the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize