3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
