dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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