great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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