I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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