Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
