watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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