so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
