just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize