Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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