If i come over, it means nothing
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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