One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
