Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
