I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
