pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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