I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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