which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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