Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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