And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
