I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
