I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
