Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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