if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
