I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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