You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
