It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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