:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
