SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
