Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
