omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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