If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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