Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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