can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
