She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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