Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
