everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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