He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Farmville is her only friend.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize