My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
