Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
