let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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